June 2010 

Dear Sisters,

This month, Thelma Clark writes on "teaching what is good." She reminds us that whatever phase of spiritual growth or phase of life we are in, we are going to influence others. Therefore we need to spend time in His Word with a heart ready to believe and obey God. The woman who loves God's word is in a position to train younger women.

When I go to God's Word with a heart of faith, He can use me in a positive way in the advancement of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Occasionally a woman will say to me, "I'll never forget that time when you said to me...(fill in the blank)"--and I won't remember at all what I had said or when I had said it. But at that time, I was led by the Spirit and He used me somehow in that sister's life.

So, let's learn from Thelma's encouragement to abide in the Word of God. As we do, God will use us wherever we are to be a blessing to the people in our lives.

In His grace,

Sandy Hopler

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Teaching What is Good

by Thelma Clark Prairie View Community Church, Parker, CO

During high school, a man who had not personally played the sport our son loved, coached him in it. And while this man brought leadership and some good character qualities to the team, the players didn't benefit the way they would have had he personally gone through years of practice and games to acquire the skills necessary to win actual games. What a contrast to the plan God has for training women.

"Teach the older women to...be examples of the good life so that the younger women may learn to..." (Phillips) to be models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to..." (The Message).

When the Lord was taking hold of my heart and giving me a desire to influence others, I was taught that the emphasis of these verses was to teach by example. I realized that I needed to grow and become the person God wanted me to be by spending time in His Word with a heart to believe it and to obey. "THEN they can train/coach the younger women."

It helps me to think of this passage in outline form: "be...don't be...but be examples ...THEN you can train...." You can fill in the blanks with the text.

Being shown how to do something always makes something easier to learn than just being told how to do it. It's good for me to ask myself: Am I an example of living before Him everyday; of not gossiping; of loving my husband the way the Lord would want; of loving and training my children the way He intends; of...? It's definitely a life-long, on-going work.

Charles Swindoll tells of a group of men who were discussing their favorite translations of the Bible. Eventually the oldest man among them spoke up, "I liked my mother's translation best." When the other men asked if she really did write a translation, he answered, "Yes, she translated it into her everyday life. That's what brought me to faith." Example influences.

It's encouraging, though, that no matter how "old" we are in the Lord, He will use us as we walk with Him and let His Word impact our hearts. When we helped start the church in Ohio, I wasn't much older in any way except that I was one of the few who were married, and then later I had one, then two, then three of our children. Those were fun, but challenging days. I remember feeling pretty consumed with just learning how to train my children and manage a home, while staying involved with church activities and having people over. Yet sisters have said that God used me in their lives during that time. I can think, "Now what was I doing...juggling strollers and three little ones in and out of places, trying to talk with at least a few people?"

I didn't have a lot to teach, but as we spent time together I would just tell them what God was doing for me and how His Word was so living that it would speak right to my need: a neat promise that helped us endure a trial, or of some verses on anger that were affecting the way I spoke. It reminds me of Deuteronomy 6 where parents are told to imprint their children by telling them what God has put on their own hearts, and to do it continually as they live life together.

Morgan Thatcher spoke to our ladies group last week, and it was so encouraging for them to hear from someone going through the same things they are. The gals were challenged as Morgan gave examples of practical things she has recently struggled with as a wife and mother, and how the Lord has spoken to her through several verses that helped her make right choices.

As for passing on "what is good," there is nothing better than this desperateness to stay attached to God every day, hanging onto His Word for dear life. No matter what we go through, "God is GOOD" and He longs to strengthen us and to show us another aspect of His goodness that we've never known before. Every day there are reasons for women to be anxious; every day there is a need to freshly put hope in God. The result? Women whose inner selves are transformed into what He says have great worth: more gentled and quieted spirits (I Peter 3).

This past year, my daughter, who has five young children, discovered that she had melanoma. She went through weeks of tests, waiting, surgery, and dealing with fears. It was difficult to watch her endure the inner struggles known only to one's own heart, but when all was said and done (she's now cancer free-praise Him!), she had experienced a sweetness of the reality of God and His precious Word that she'd never experienced to that degree before. She would say that the Lord truly does walk through the fire WITH us, that "The nearness of God is my good."

The other "good thing" that I'd like to mention is the need to be an example of valuing what God values, calling "good" what He says is good-which includes the role He planned for us as wives and mothers. I need to be an example of wholeheartedly embracing this work as the highest calling I could have. God designed it as the most privileged, safe, happy place He could have put us, and like the Israelites, we can "despise the 'pleasant' land." Instead of feeling "less than," I should be so very thankful for the privilege of being a wife who's primary purpose is to help her husband, bringing him good every day of my life, enabling him to be "in the city gates."

What joy it must bring God when we believe that whatever His Word says is right and good, so we simply obey-knowing that this is what gives anything eternal value.

Much of God's instruction to us concerns physical things: "Being busy at home, managing the home, all kinds of good deeds, handling food/clothing, raising children, washing the feet of others, helping those in trouble, etc." Because these aren't valued by many around us, at times I can feel like I'm not accomplishing anything very significant. At those times it helps me to read again what God said specifically for women, clearing my head with what He says is important (I Timothy 2, I Timothy 5, I Peter 3, Titus 2, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, Proverbs 31).

How encouraging to see that these really line up with much of what I do, and to remember:

1) If these were His instructions for wives, and

2) If He's the one who gave the Great Commission to all of us, then these "commissions" must fit together perfectly in His master plan. Also, it is these very things that put us with people (our families and others) so that we can influence them for Him. They open the door to our "stage" for influence. They are very good indeed.

Even though I haven't always had the privilege of being around literal "older women," many of you have greatly impacted me, not only with your lives, but also with your words. "Faithful instruction is on her lips, and kindness is the rule for everything she says" (Proverbs 31). I'm so thankful for the many conversations that have adjusted my perspective, raised my bar, given me good ideas, or increased or challenged my faith. I still read through notes that I've jotted down during these last 40 years after spending time with a sister-things I knew God wanted to use in my life-and things that He's still using.

He has also used many of you who have given teachings or written articles, books, or Bible studies to make huge impacts. We're blessed to be recipients of the myriad of ways He has gifted women, and each stage of life will probably look different for all of us. As the years add up for me, and I only have one child at home, there are a few hours some days where it's quiet and my mind isn't engaged in schoolwork or training children; but because the "mother's heart" is still there, I'm finding that God is using those hours to be able to place others on my heart more often so that I can pray for them, enabling Him to give me promptings concerning them.

If this is a little glimpse of what it will mean to be an older woman, I can see what a resource they can be: their genuine motherly interest, their experiences in life from which to draw, their walk with God and the Word, their humility from going through times of failure and weakness, their seeing God's faithfulness over and over again, and their availability to pray for and counsel younger ones.

It reminds me of something Joan Stockdale in Poland recently wrote: "I just got back from helping a new mom with a breast infection. The young mom said, 'I am just so calm when you are here.' God taught us so many wonderful lessons in those hectic years as moms of all of those little ones. It is an honor to pass it on." What a blessing Joan was to that young woman!

Matthew Henry wrote: "...which is a positive duty of aged patrons, namely to be teachers of good things! Not public preachers, that is forbidden (I Corinthians 14:34...in the church), but otherwise teach they may and should, that is by example and good life. Hence observe, those whose actions and behavior become holiness ARE thereby teachers of good things...."

As Neva said in her March letter about Jan Gordon: "Jan and I hardly talked that whole weekend, but her service and life spoke volumes to me and to many others."

Thelma Clark

If you would like to respond to Thelma, email info@gccweb.org.

May 2010 

Dear Sisters,

Before Jesus came to earth, women were often chattels, merely property, treated with indignity. Christ and Christianity brought social change, freeing women from literal slavery. But more importantly, Jesus Christ came to set women free from the bondage of sin.

This month Terry Putthoff examines the quality in Titus 2:3 of "...not addicted to much wine." Her words inspire me to freshly examine my own life and habits to see if there is anything that is master over me-anything but the Lord Jesus. I ask myself, "Is my life different from the world? Will others seek to believe Christ because of His truth and power being lived out in my self-controlled example?"

May God work through each of us to exhibit the fruit of self-control, as testimony of the liberating power of the gospel!

In His grace,

Sandy Hopler

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Self Control

by Terry Putthoff, Lee's Summit, MO

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good..." (Titus 2:3).

I have pondered this section ever since I agreed to comment on it. I'm a "list-type-of-a-person" and get quite a bit of satisfaction in checking off my list when particular tasks are done or if certain qualifications are met. When I read this verse, my simple way of thinking is: "CHECK! Got that one down. Let's see what's next."

The literal translation of this verse is the same in Greek as it is in English. Other translations say:

• "not given to much wine" (KJV)
• "slaves to drink" (RSV) 
• "must not be heavy drinkers" (NLT)
• "addicted to much wine" (NIV)

What's insinuated here is not a command to abstain from drinking wine, but rather that one not "linger long over wine" to the point that it masters you and you become a drunkard (Proverbs 23:30).

I looked this verse up in the Greek Lexicon and found a few treasures that shed some light on the subject. First of all, the only negative instruction for older women in these verses is to "not" be malicious gossips and "not" be drinkers of too much wine. They are connected by the same word and the same part of speech. Some translations use the word "nor" in place of "not."

In the Greek, the word "nor" is used here as a negative disjunctive conjunction (meaning it has the same verb in common). It implies "God forbid" and the focus is to deny even "the thought of the thing." Therefore, we could say that these two "not(s)" have the verb "enslaved" in common.

So, we older women are not (God forbid) to be enslaved or addicted to malicious gossip or wine. I just never thought of gossip being an addiction in the same sense as alcohol. I've heard of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), but not MGA (Malicious Gossips Anonymous)! And on top of that, I don't personally know of any pastor's wife that is "enslaved to much wine." But I do know of other things in life that have the potential to master us.

So that makes me think about things in our culture that we might also be tempted to be enslaved by, and just so that no one can think more highly of me than they ought, I will state some of the things that try to master me.

Starbucks. Nothing like it on a cold day! I could sit and "linger long" over a white chocolate mocha, especially with a good friend and an open Bible. Don't get me wrong here, there's nothing wrong with that. It's whether it causes me to drive out of my way to HAVE to have my mocha for the umpteenth time of the day.

Eating. For me, it's more WHAT I eat. You see, I have a blood sugar problem and I am in a pre-diabetic state. My doctor has instructed me to keep my carb count to 150 mgs a day and to focus on lean protein, lots of fiber, and 80 ounces of water. All those high-glycemic foods are what I crave. My conscience reminds me: "To him who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."

Reality TV. Who will be the next American Idol? Even the title should raise the hairs on the back of our necks. How about TV series like "24?" There are times that we have worked our schedule around it to make sure that we don't miss the next episode. What will happen to Jack Bauer? Or the United States, for that matter?

Fox News. The political environment is so unbelievable that it can be fixating. We don't have cable TV (thank goodness), but whenever we go to our folk's house, I get my fix of Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity. I find it gratifying to hear news that exposes the dark things going on in our government and to just be "in the know." (Hmmm, I wonder if that is connected to the addiction of malicious gossip?) Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not promoting ignorance of the political realm. Just don't let it control you and your thoughts.

Physical appearance. Every time I go to the grocery store, I'm reminded that I am not like the beauty on the magazine cover. Sadly, most women are enslaved to an image that is unattainable, since the majority of magazine covers are computer manipulated. These false images have driven us to strict diets, harsh physical regimens, and expensive beauty treatments. God's Word tells us: "Your adornment must not be merely external ... but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God" (I Peter 3:3-4). That's what is precious in the sight of God! We need to be good stewards of our body, but only in the context that "bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come" (I Timothy 4:8).

Keeping up with appearances. I still can't believe that the "June Cleaver model" isn't the way everyone else operates. Somehow I feel like I'm the only one who hasn't discovered the key to looking good, having the perfect family, keeping the cleanest house, saving the most money, being energetic for my husband and kids, and always having the greatest attitude. My daughter participated in a Mother's Day celebration at our church when she was very little. The stage was set for an Art Linkletter-type "Kids Say the Darndest Things" show. She was asked: What is your mother's favorite hobby? I just knew she would say something like having tea parties with my little girl, or something cute like that. Instead she proudly announced, "Cleaning house!" At that moment, I knew it was time to refocus what was important in life.

Productivity. We live in a culture that drives us to multi-task in such a way that the goal is to be overachievers. I have to admit there is a "rush" when it does happen, but typically I find myself irritable because we run such a tight schedule with very little margin. Sometimes my quiet times are on the run. Have you ever tried to pray when you are intentionally breaking the law? Nothing will bring the cruise control down better than being reminded that I'm praying to a holy God who has set authorities in place to enforce the law.

Facebook. Need I say more?

All these things are not necessarily wrong in and of themselves, just like drinking wine is not wrong, nor is it prohibited in the Bible. Being "enslaved," however, or controlled by anything other than the Holy Spirit is where our problem lies. "Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone (or thing) put a harness of slavery on you" (Galatians 5:1, The Message).

"Don't drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of Him" (Ephesians 5:18, The Message). I know that each one of us would rather be spilling over in excess of the fruit of the Spirit than anything else in life. And as we daily bring our "vessels" to God, He is thrilled to replenish us and fill us up to overflowing! "Now to Him who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think" (Ephesians 3:20, RSV).

Terry Putthoff

If you would like to respond to Terry, email info@gccweb.org.

April 2010

 

Dear Sisters,

Titus 2 is a chapter of the Bible that is devoted to describing godly character. The older women are instructed to avoid being malicious gossips. Their speech must be so above reproach that they are able to be an encouragement to other women by their example and by their words.

I have received such encouragement all throughout my Christian life by our writer of this month's article. Mardean Martindale's gracious, kind words and example have taught so many of us sisters in Christ what it means to be a godly woman. In preparation of this letter I spoke with Mardean on the phone. Her love for the Lord and for all us women was so evident in her cheerful spirit. She has helped us see ourselves as Jesus sees us. She and Herschel often pray for others using Paul's prayers for the churches, and here is what she prayed with me on the phone:

"...so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge..." (Ephesians 3:17-19).

Such sweet and true words! May all of our speech be so full of God's truth that the world sees Jesus through us.

In Christ,
Sandy Hopler

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Not Malicious Gossips (Speech)

by Mardean Martindale, Oak Ridge Community Church, Clarksville, MD

Speech is such a valuable gift. With our speech we can worship and praise God, teach and love our children, encourage our husbands and other believers, and share the good news of our Savior with those who do not know Him. Our words reflect God to our families, to the world in which we live, and in our churches. When Jesus was on earth, the people marveled at the gracious words from His mouth. We know what God is like because Jesus came to this earth. Now, our families, friends, colleagues, and neighbors can know what God is like through us, His children. What an opportunity and what a challenge!

Women tend to be so verbal. That makes it much easier for us women to sin with our mouths! It's a proven fact that the Lord pinpoints in Proverbs 10:19, "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." How many of us have left a ladies' get-together, and lost sleep that night as we ruminated over and over something we said that we regretted? Satan would love to deceive us, or prompt us to think and speak negatively, and miss the blessing that God intends for us.

How do we keep from allowing "unwholesome talk" from "coming out of (our) mouths," and speak "only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)? We can begin with being very sensitive and cautious with the confidential information we are so often aware of because of our husbands. As pastors' wives we know so much. Our husbands are gifted with the grace to "handle" the knowledge of some very deep and troubling problems, because they have the responsibility entrusted to them. But the same knowledge can be discouraging to the wife, since she is not the one responsible and in authority. We need to trust our husbands if they decide not to include us in something particularly hurtful or defiling that has happened within the church that they are helping to resolve. It may be a guard on our mouths, to keep us from being tempted to take offense with someone, or to gossip. So instead of insisting on details when we don't need them, we can pray for wisdom for our husbands and unite with them in that way.

But when we are part of the problem and/or part of the solution, how important it is to guard our thoughts and our speech, even in prayer! Herschel and I have experienced at times, when in counseling or prayer situations, a prayer request that had been shared in too intimate of detail where I thought, "Oh, did I really need to know that?" We need to be careful what we pray about in public, when we have other people's privacy entrusted to us. Women like to fix things! We want to help, and then it's easy to say things that shouldn't be shared. It can truly lead to "malicious gossip" and instead of helping that person, we are hurting them and their reputation, by improperly sharing someone else's weaknesses "just for prayer."

When detailed problems are shared unnecessarily, even for prayer, it may make things difficult for others' faith. "A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards" (Proverbs 29:11 KJV). For example, a simple request for prayer might be met by a probing "Is anything special wrong?" More is then said than was meant to be shared, and it provides the possibility that the details may get beyond the "prayer circle." We need to be on our guard as to whether we should allow certain things to be shared...even in the context of prayer. Where others' sin is involved, it is especially tempting to sin by gossiping. Paul warned the Romans to "be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil" (Romans 16:19). In our younger years, if one of us began to gossip or bring up negative things, we would gently begin singing a little chorus to one other, "Let's Talk about Jesus!"

You know, it really is the will of God that we encourage one another daily (Hebrews 3:13). We need one another so much, we really do. Yet trying to be so cautious with our speech may even make us retreat from others. But we can always say encouraging words. It certainly helps if we are thinking rightly, and viewing those around us just as Jesus sees them. I have always loved the story of how the great missionary to China, Hudson Taylor, found the secret to this, as relayed in Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret.

Hudson went to China, living as the Chinese lived and winning them to Christ. He went back to England to bring more missionaries to China. Once in China, the new English missionaries' problems kept surfacing and causing many distractions for Hudson and his work in the gospel. His time was so consumed with reconciling relationships and dealing with conflicts that he was losing his spiritual joy. As he read the prayers of Paul for the Colossians and the Philippians, Hudson saw how Paul didn't speak of their problems. He focused on the good-they were partners in the gospel; they loved one another; they were faithful to the Lord Jesus. So Hudson prayed Paul's prayers for his fellow-laborers; he prayed they would see why God had them in China, and that they would see themselves as God saw them. What happened? Hudson Taylor's heart changed as he prayed; praying not about their problems, but for their faith and joy and Christ-likeness. His own joy and faith were restored!

We can also be such an encouragement to the others in our lives, to help them see themselves as Jesus sees them. We can choose to think of others as the Lord sees and thinks of them, to pray Paul's prayers for them; and then encouraging, truth-filled words will follow! Paul said for us to "Set your minds on things above..." (Colossians 3:2). It's not natural, but it's a choice.

Facing my own weaknesses in the areas of gossip and righteous speech, I have memorized and meditated on many verses on those topics! The following are some wonderful scriptures on the subjects of our speech and right thoughts.

• Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer (Psalms 19:14).
• For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart (Matthew 12:34b).
• We are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5b).
• Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).
• Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2).
• Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
• She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:26).

Mardean Martindale

If you would like to respond to Mardean, email info@gccweb.org.

March 2010

 

Dear Sisters,

How exciting to begin to explore Titus 2:3-5 together, the description of a godly woman within the local church! The Church is Christ's body, saved by His precious and spotless blood. As pastors' wives, we are linked together in church ministry. The church is what we are devoted to, as our husbands' helpmeets. As Neva says in this month's letter, we are "sisters-on-the-wall!"

As I read various versions of Titus 2:3, quoted by Neva, certain words jumped out at me: "Guide the older women into lives of reverence" (The Message), "Bid the older women" (Amplified), and "teach the older women to be reverent" (NIV). Guide, bid, teach-it seems that to be holy and useful to the Lord Jesus, we wives must first be guidable, teachable, and able to follow the godly men leading in our lives! The Apostle Paul also taught Titus, the church leader, that women have a big effect on whether the Word of God is honored, or whether it is dismissed as irrelevant by the world.

Let's seek the Lord and His grace to grow in fear and reverence of Him, and in humility and teach-ability toward those He has placed in authority over us in the Lord. I pray we are examples that will draw others to want Him and believe in Him all the more.

With you,
Sandy Hopler

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Reverent in their Behavior

by Neva Whitney (Vintage Faith Church, Manhattan, KS)

Dear Sisters-on-the-wall,

As I jotted down some thoughts for this month's article, I thought about all of you gals reading this-all the different pastors' wives that I'm working alongside within our Great Commission churches. What a blessing you are to my life! If our men are Brothers-on-the-wall, then I guess we can't help it, but that makes us Sisters-on-the-wall.

Recently I read a Faithwalkers daily devotional-written by a young and beautiful pastor's wife that I know personally (and who has four young children). Morgan's heart to encourage our movement of churches with her insight on a great verse really touched me, and I was encouraged not just by her good thoughts, but by her young mom's life. I remember well what every one of her days look like, what with four little ones under foot, and it really moved me that she took the time to put her thoughts down for our encouragement.

I also think of Jan Gordon. What an encouragement she was to me last fall when Rick and I attended Gator Christian Life's 30-year reunion in Gainesville, Florida. Jan and I hardly talked that whole weekend, but her service and life spoke volumes to me and to many others. Rick and I left Florida over 25 years ago and have been involved in churches in Maryland, all across Colorado, and now Kansas. And to come back to a campus and a city where Matt and Jan have labored faithfully for these past three decades-raising up laborers, year after year, and launching numerous church plants-was just amazing. Jan has been right alongside her husband while raising a beautiful family. Anyway, these girls have all deeply encouraged me. I see such a noble heart in these two women. Watching them holding down the home fort; observing their active service in the church. I am so thankful for their lives.

I am also thankful to Sandy Hopler and for her faithful ministry to us, month after month, as she edits, coordinates, and sends out this newsletter of encouragement for all of us. I am sure that it's pretty challenging, especially as she works with volunteer writers like us!

Sandy's plan, to look in depth at these Titus verses, should be just what we need to stay on the wall this year. I'm happy to throw this small contribution into the mix this month with some thoughts on "reverent in their behavior."

So here goes. . .

"Older Women are to be reverent in their behavior..."

What do you think of when you picture an older woman who is reverent in her behavior? I see a woman who fears God, honors her Lord, obeys her Savior, and in like manner honors and supports her husband. A reverent woman reveres God and shows it in how she treats other authorities in her life. She understands what a healthy fear of God looks like.

That fear is reflected in how she lives her every day life. How she dresses. How she talks. How she spends her time. How she interacts with people. I envision two aspects to this woman's life.

First, she has a face-to-face relationship with God. She is on her knees-at least in her heart. She is in tune with her Creator. She is in fellowship with Him. She is a woman of prayer and a woman who deeply respects her Lord's Word.

Then I have to picture that same woman showing her reverence in how she deals with all the people in her world: her husband, her children, Christians in the church, and those that don't know her God.

Picture a woman like Mother Theresa, only with a more modern look. How about an example like Ruth Bell Graham?

This reverent woman is with His people, and with them in their messes. She is changing dirty diapers and wiping runny noses on the young and old alike. And she does not lose her reverence.

A woman who is reverent in her behavior sees life from God's perspective and realizes that the simple daily routines are important.

People around her, who are watching her, who see her life, see that her heart is for God. Her life is centered on the things that matter to Him. She wants to live to please Him, and she wants to please her husband (and sees no dichotomy).

She speaks the truth when necessary. A reverent woman brings the Word into her daily conversations and shares what she is reading with those around her-because it is on her heart.

Definition:

To understand the phrase "reverent in their behavior," let's look at the dictionary. Reverent is defined as deferential, respectful, and worshipful. The antonym is irreverent. I can easily picture what irreverent behavior looks like and you probably can too (which is exactly why we need to take heed).

The dictionary offers the following words to define behavior as performance, actions, deeds, activities, manners, and conduct.

So my paraphrase might be something along this line, "respectful and worshipful conduct and actions."

Other Translations:

"Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers..." (The Amplified Bible).

"Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior" (The Message).

"Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good" (The New Living Translation).

A Warning:

There are verses in 1st Timothy, and these in Titus, which together offer several warnings for older women. Whether we like it or not ladies, we are these older women...especially before our churches.

So these warnings should be duly noted. Without God, and left to our own fleshly devices, we could easily be lazy busybodies, gossips, lacking self-control, and over-indulging. I picture very lonely old women, with no purpose to live for.

Conclusion:

As an older woman in our church, I have to keep asking myself, "Am I living my life in service to God? Do I fear Him? Do I want to obey Him? Do I honor and respect my husband? Would my people describe me as a reverent woman?" I sure hope so.

Am I saying and doing what's "right" in God's sight, not what always seems proper or even popular in the world's sight?

God bless you women of all ages today as you lay down your life for your husband, your children, your grandchildren, your church, and your lost community.

May all our lives please Him today!

If you would like to respond to Neva, email info@gccweb.org.

February 2010

Dear Sisters,

I have a friend who, in her search to know God, found that her church leader didn't believe that all the "stories" in the Bible were true. Her alarmed response was "How can I trust the Bible at all if it's not ALL true?" She left that church quickly and found another where the Bible was proclaimed as God's revealed Word to the world.

That leader's example definitely dishonored the Word. My friend's experience reminded me of the awesome responsibility we have as Christian women and pastors' wives to believe the whole Bible and to show by our behavior that we honor it as God's Word.

God warns us to not live according to the world's values. I like the paraphrase of Romans 12:1,2 in The Message: "Take your everyday, ordinary life-your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life-and place it before God as an offering.... Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out."

So how do we as women avoid living by the standards of today's world? How do we lift up the Word of God, and prevent it from being "maligned" or dishonored? God's Word gives the clear answer in Titus 2:3-5:

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

As women, we can either honor His Word or dishonor His Word. It all depends on our behavior. If we live out Titus 2:3-5, we can have confidence that God's Word will not be dishonored.

So why don't we start with a "clean slate" and go right to the source of godly wisdom? Let's put aside any of our own ideas and start fresh!

Dear sisters, here is our plan for the rest of the year. Each newsletter we will focus on one of the qualities in Titus 2:3-5. A pastor's wife will write on that quality, sharing her insight on what God desires for godly women. Here are our topics:

March: Reverent in their behavior

April: Not malicious gossips (Speech)

May: Not enslaved to much wine (Self-control)

June: Teaching what is good

July: Encourage young women to love their husbands

August: Encourage young women to love their children

September: Encourage young women to be sensible

October: Encourage young women to be pure

November: Encourage young women to be workers at home

December: Encourage young women to be kind

January 2011: Encourage young women to be subject to their own husbands

I am excited about these newsletters. My expectation is that these articles will give us a deeper understanding of God's desires and standards of an excellent wife, a woman who fears the Lord. Let's pray for these writers, that the Lord brings His grace and understanding into their lives as they seek the Lord on their topics.

Let's also humbly seek the Lord for our own lives as He conforms us to the image of His Son. As we follow Titus 2:3-5, we will become more like Christ--excellent wives, who are "the crowns" of our husbands (Proverbs 12:4).

So, this year, may the Word of God be honored in our lives, and in the lives of others as we study and follow the teaching in Titus 2:3-5. When God's Word is believed and obeyed, God will get all the glory!

United with you in Him,

Sandy Hopler

January 2010

 

To the Pastors' Wives,

Greetings in the Lord Jesus.

I know it is unusual for me - a pastor - to write in the Pastors' Wives Newsletter.  But there is a story and a message that I thought would be good for you to know. And as will become evident, there is no one other than I who can tell this story.  Also,  because of the nature of the story, I asked my wife Sandy to bypass writing an introduction, as she normally does.

So, here goes...

I did not grow up in a home that taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. But by the grace of God I became a Christian on December 11, 1973 through the witness of people who planted a Great Commission church in Columbus, Ohio.  It was in the church that Sandy and I met. We fell in love and got married on December 3, 1977 - the happiest day of my life (except for every day thereafter!).  Since then, Sandy has been my best friend - and my best helper.  

When we were newly married, the pastors of the church planned a 5-day open-air preaching series on West Campus at Ohio State.  Jesus Christ was the focus of the series, as we addressed topics such as, "Why Jesus Sociologically?" and, "Why Jesus Psychologically?" and, "Why Jesus Philosophically?"  I was picked to start on Monday with "Why Jesus Historically," in which I would share the proof of the resurrection. 

This was a big step of faith for me. Before I was saved, I was not much of a risk-taker.  I preferred being a couch potato and watching football games, to stepping out and being courageous. So I was really going outside my comfort zone to preach before the students at OSU.  (Frankly, I was scared to death!)

Sandy and I drove to West Campus, parked the car and strolled nervously to the grassy hill where students were eating their lunches.  I carried an easel with a cardboard sign that said, "Why Jesus Historically?"  We prayed, and I walked to the top of the hill, and set up the easel.  And then I started.  "Today, I want to talk to you about 'Why Jesus Historically' - why Jesus is the center of history."

Of course, right away the snickers started.  "Oh, brother. Who is this kook?  Oh, no, not another religious nut."  But to make matters worse, the day was very windy - and 15 seconds into my preaching, the easel and sign fell down.  As if I didn't look foolish enough already!   My courage was really being tested. Quite honestly, I felt like giving up.

But then came Sandy.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her come to the top of the hill.  She picked up the easel and sign and held them in the brisk wind.  It was extremely windy that day.  It took a lot of effort on her part to keep the easel and sign upright.  But she did it.  As people mocked, she just stood her ground behind me, holding this sign that said, "Why Jesus Historically" while I preached about Jesus and the resurrection. 

I did not preach long. Unlike Tom Short who gathers crowds and leads many to Christ, I did not see anyone come forward to receive eternal life. I do not know of any students on the grassy hill whose lives were changed that Monday afternoon. But I do know this - my life was changed.

At a moment when my faith was being severely tested, my dear bride stepped forward. This timid aspiring pastor was bolstered by his wife who was willing to suffer with me in the cause of the gospel. And I was forever changed. 

On December 3, 1977, Sandy made a vow to God and to me to stick by me through thick and thin. In the spring of 1978, on a grassy hill at Ohio State University she fulfilled that vow in dramatic fashion. She held up my sign - and she has been holding up my sign ever since. In doing so, she has not only affected me - she has also affected the world.

Ladies, I cannot overstate the effect that you have on your husbands. Your love, your support, your faith and your loyalty are powerful. Very powerful.

God commands us to "Only be strong and very courageous." (Joshua 1:7)   For a man, sometimes his courage is tested when God calls him to take on a new venture.  Other times his courage is tested when he is being questioned or attacked.  Whatever the situation, each man must face his fears.  When his courage and convictions are severely tested, each man must trust his God and climb the hill. The world may laugh at him. But he must go forward. 

When a man takes that step, it is not only a God-moment for him. It is also a God-moment for his wife. She has an opportunity to follow his lead-to join him at that critical moment when his faith is being challenged.  A wife has the great privilege to stand by him, proclaiming the One who died and rose again on our behalf. It is her opportunity to hold up his sign.

Ladies, you have no doubt had the opportunity to hold up the sign of your husband many times in your life. When you did so, you made an impact on your husband more than you will ever realize.  As you follow the Lord in the future, you will have many more opportunities to hold up his sign.  When that opportunity comes again, seize it.  Seize it with all of your heart.  When you do, it will not only transform your marriage.  It will also transform the world.

God bless you, ladies.  
John Hopler

December 2009

 

Dear Sisters,

Every one of us is uniquely gifted by the Holy Spirit to serve in the body of Christ, for His glory. At the same time, as pastors wives we understand that our primary ministry calling is to support our husbands.

Our writer this month, Karen Haring, is incredibly talented in writing and music (and, I'm sure, in other areas of which I'm not yet aware!). In her love for Christ and her husband, Karen has used her talents in serving Tim and their church. Her focus has been on Christ and her family, not her gifts. But her gifts have been used in a powerful way through a church that ministers to several thousand people in the weekend services and to tens of thousands in their annual Passion Play.

I believe that the fruit from Karen's ministry is a direct result of her maintaining Biblical priorities-the Lord, her husband, and her children. May God use her example to inspire us to more fully serve Jesus Christ and our families as "good stewards of the manifold grace of God." (1st Peter 4:10)

In Christ,
Sandy Hopler

---

The Proverbs 31 Passion

by Karen Haring (Chestnut Ridge Community Church, Morgantown, West Virginia)

I've always thought of the Proverbs 31 woman as my example on how to be a helper to my husband. Obviously a great wife and mother, her various projects that could have detracted from her priorities, actually enhanced their family life even more. She made her husband's success her primary mission, and that's my goal too.

I've been involved in several ministries with our church that have helped support Tim in his role as a pastor and in his desire to reach our community. Our worship service programming and music are my serving strengths. As he and the other pastors work on their messages, we're able to mesh the music and programming to help people get the full impact. This reinforces what those pastors share even more and helps bring the message home to every heart. We also look for ways to include our kids in the ministry, and the older three have participated in various ways over the last six or seven years. It's been a joy to work together and see our kids rub shoulders with other great people doing actual ministry. It's not only a support to Tim and the church, but our kids are learning to serve others too.

Another support avenue is our yearly Easter musical, "The Passion." What started as something small many years ago has become a powerful gospel tool that creates a bridge event for our members to invite friends and family. As I look back now, I see how God was molding me to have certain experiences and abilities that could be leveraged for supporting Tim in his vision. I've also helped create the drama and directed the musical end of things. This event has really helped us have a bigger impact as a church. It's been a way for us to serve together as a family, as I've done the music, the kids have worked on stage or backstage, and Tim has spoken.

As wonderful as all this has been, there are several things I'd like to mention about pitfalls. One difficulty has been the busyness involved during the season of "The Passion." Our kids have been home-schooled and now attend public school, but during the week of "The Passion" I cancel all classes, and try to do some relaxing or "hang out" things with the kids: shopping, a movie, or going out to eat. This has helped keep us all connected and minimized the craziness of pulling off a huge production. The younger two have not been in "The Passion," but this gives them and Tim more opportunity to be together while I'm engrossed with the last week of rehearsals.

Another challenge is learning to keep a balance between what I say and don't say to Tim about differences we may have about how we do the services. Being directly involved in the worship services provides a lot of opportunities for us to talk about church things. Because we're both involved in the same area, sometimes we have differences of opinion on how things should be done. I feel I have erred on both sides-sometimes saying too much and sometimes remaining silent when I should speak. I think praying first and asking God to direct through His Spirit is always a good first step for me. I've also learned that it's often better to let others speak to Tim from a programming standpoint, than to have me bring things up all the time. Tim really values my input, and often it's easier to focus on what needs to be changed instead of the positive and encouraging points. I have too often failed to do this. I always need to be thinking about how I can encourage him and support him in what he is doing. Always encourage!

I'm very thankful for the opportunities God has given me with our church ministries. We've been able to labor together as a family and as a couple. God has answered in amazing ways as we've prayed for "The Passion" and the weekend services. It's really built our faith, reached a lot of folks in our community, and also brought them to church. And along the way, God is refining me and helping me grow in learning how to support my husband even more. I'm not exactly the Proverbs 31 woman, but she remains my example!

If you would like to respond to Karen, please contact us at info@gccweb.org, for her email address.

November 2009

 

Dear Sisters,

Life is a little like knitting a sweater, according to our writer this month. I looked up "knit" in my Bible concordance and found this:

"...that their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, that is, Christ Himself..." (Colossians 2:1-3)

We all need our faith and hearts encouraged to continue to trust, and to be united in love with each other. I like that Cheryl points us to Jesus and His return as our hope. Let's fix our hope completely on Him, sisters, and know we will then never be disappointed with life!

Love in Christ,
Sandy Hopler

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Knitting and Life

by Cheryl Sanchez (Rio Rancho, New Mexico)

I had not picked up my knitting for a long time. Life just seemed to be too busy. I had started the sweater for my grandson while he was still in the womb and we didn't yet know he was going to be a boy...so...a yellow sweater. Nathan is now five years old.

I began to knit again this week and have almost finished the tiny creation. It will now belong to my granddaughter who will be born next February. Good thing I used yellow yarn.

Knitting is a lot like life. I began with a tenuous chain of stitches, connected to nothing but each other, like a chain of DNA. That row is the most tedious and most frail. Frequently, it needs to be restarted and it seems it will never amount to anything. But the pattern, written by an experienced knitter, says otherwise. As one stitch is added to another, row upon row, a pattern begins to appear, giving hope. Psalm 27:14 encourages me, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

I didn't understand how it would all fit together though. After a small section finally began to look like something, I was told to place it on a holder, to come back to later. And then another small section was put on another holder...and another...and another. I had to trust the pattern that it would all come together because it didn't make sense to me. Psalm 130:5 says, "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."

Some rows are knitted very quickly, almost without looking at the stitches. Others, when an adjustment is being made, must be knitted slowly and carefully with tedious counting of stitches. And I always make some mistakes. Even the most experienced knitters do. Then stitches need to be ripped out...sometimes rows of stitches! Those are discouraging times when I really feel like quitting.

Somewhere in there, I laid the knitting down for nearly six years. I was amazed at how much satisfaction I found picking it up again. One of those projects you start, drop, and think you will never finish, and then...one day the time is right...and you gain the courage to finish it. It does take courage to finish things I think. Life can be hard and tedious. In Romans 8:23-25, we are encouraged to keep going. "We ourselves, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

Finally, the pattern told me to take all the stitches off the holders and put them back on the needle. There was barely room to hold them all! What an exciting row of stitching. It was difficult though and had to be done very carefully. I didn't want to make a mistake at this point...not when I'm finally putting things together. Psalm 40:1 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."

Now I could tell that it was going to be a sweater, but it was still a long way to completion with hours of stitch upon stitch, row upon row ahead of me. Day upon day, year upon year, "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him." (Isaiah 30:8) Life is made up of days, hours and minutes of obeying the God who created us and wants to create something wondrous of our lives. I love the following passage in Titus 2:11-14, "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope-the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

I am down to the last six rows and then I will bind off the stitches and add the buttons...the end result is clear. As I can now see a great deal of my life behind me, I have a better view of what lies ahead. I yearn to see my Lord face to face! (Not until my time is completed, of course, because I think I have a lot of stitches left.) Yet I look forward to it with anticipation. I Thess 1:10 says, "...wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead-Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath." I am willing to wait, to finish the stitches I have before me, to "Wait for the gift my Father promised." (Acts 1:4)

I look forward to giving the gift to my daughter for her precious baby girl. I know Jesus yearns for the day he will present us, perfect and without flaw, to our father, the Lord of all.

If you want to respond to Cheryl, contact our office at info@gccweb.org to get her email address.

 

October 2009

Dear Sisters,

"And He will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is his treasure." (Isaiah 33:6)

In the midst of life's changes, how comforting it is to know that our God stays the same. No wonder then, the psalmist so often describes the Lord as "my Rock." Our writer this month is finding her stability and contentment in God. Where changes initially brought her tears, she now is finding joy and contentment through claiming and believing promises from His unchanging Word.

So, whatever our "times" bring along, let's allow Him to be our Rock and our stability. Then we can stand firm and strong no matter what comes.

In Him,

Sandy Hopler

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He Is Still There

by Virginia Biang (Glen Arbor Community Church, West Chicago, IL)

Several years ago, I remember listening to a song with the following lyrics:

"But I welcome the change like I welcome the rain, for nothing has grown in a long, long time."

I don't remember who sang it, but since I'm a person who is oftentimes not excited about change, I appreciated the song. I have found, however, that without changes in life, we become stagnant and do not grow. This principle has become apparent once again in my life.

Last fall we suddenly found that we had a virtual "empty nest." Our oldest son was married, the two next oldest boys had rented their own house, and the youngest son had moved to Kansas. Only my daughter was at home and she worked full time and was busy most evenings. Suddenly I found myself with hours of time by myself in quietness, and I will admit that I did not like it very much! When the kids were all young, I remember longing for some peace and quiet, but when I actually got to that quiet time in life, I felt like I was living in a desert. As the oldest child in a family of five, there was much companionship and activity in my childhood home. Since I had home-schooled all my own children until their mid-teens, there was always noise, chatter, and music around the house. The sudden quietness and time by myself seemed very foreign.

As I was praying about this (with a few tears), God reminded me of His promise in Isaiah 43:19, "I will even make ... rivers in the desert," and Isaiah 51:3, "The Lord will comfort Zion ...Her wilderness He will make like Eden and her desert like the garden of the Lord." It helped me a lot to start looking for the streams of water in my "desert place." When I started to look, I actually found some! I no longer have to be so rigid with the use of my time. I enjoy being more relaxed and moving at a slower pace. When my husband wants to talk, I am not distracted by what I need to do next. My quiet times are longer and fuller. My small communications with God are becoming more numerous and I've even started doing some memorizing. (What a shock!) Along with this, I am not as limited in the times I can meet with and encourage others.

In Psalm 106:24 God talks about how the Israelites "despised the pleasant land." It was very easy for me to want to go back to the way things used to be and despise the pleasant land that God was giving. The Israelites kept wanting to return to Egypt and would not enter the promised land. How often I am like that! I keep looking back with longing to a time and place that is comfortable and familiar rather than moving on and embracing a new and unfamiliar land.

And now, after twenty-one years in Chicago and thirteen years in our present home, we are going to move to West Lafayette, Indiana (Purdue University). What a stretch this is for someone who doesn't even like to have her furniture changed in the living room! As we have prayed about this, God has been very faithful to show His truth.

Psalm 84:5 says, "Blessed are the people whose heart is set on pilgrimage." Twenty-nine years ago, I linked my life with Chris' to journey with him wherever God sent us. Somehow, when we got to Chicago, (particularly after we built a house), my heart forgot about the journey. I settled in and was content to stay. However, now that the kids are adults, God wants me to pack up my tent and continue with the pilgrimage. As a result, He promises blessing on my life. It is difficult to think about leaving our present house. We built this house to accommodate my physical challenges and it is easy to think about staying in this house that meets my needs. But Philippians 4:19 says, "My God shall supply all your needs." Just as God has provided here, so He will provide in the next place as well as any place we will be in the future. "Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things." Matthew 6:32

Most importantly, as my life circumstances change around me, I have been especially comforted by contemplating the stability of God. No matter what happens, He is there. No matter what changes occur, He is still there on the other side of the change - immovable, constant and eternal. Even after the biggest change of all (death), He will still be there. Hebrews 13:5 says, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you," and also in verse 8, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

My situation (multiple sclerosis in a scooter full time) is a little different from others. My ability to get out and interact in the Gospel is somewhat limited. Our plan in the future may include having room for college age women to live with us, where I can continue to have relationships and a place to serve. So, we are choosing to open up the nest once again.

What will be the result of all these changes and transitions? He promises blessings, provision, pleasant lands and His never-ending presence and help. Psalm 73:26 says, "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." He is what we inherit and what we will get in the end. When we die, we will not be sorry about the changes He has brought into our lives.

September 2009

 

Dear Sisters,

It's fall season again and a new school year has begun. But this time around, our youngest is a junior in high school, and he's the last of eight here at home. Our evenings are usually pretty quiet. So I asked a number of our pastors' wives to share with us anything that helped them in their transition to the "empty nest." Their replies revealed to me that although everyone is different in how they approach changes and challenges, these women all love and trust the Lord. Along with the excellent woman in Proverbs 31:25 they "smile at the future." I hope you enjoy and learn from their thoughts, just as I have!

In His service,

Sandy Hopler

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From Neva Whitney (Manhattan, Kansas):

Like it or not, we are empty-nesters and have been so for over four years.  To quote my husband, who repeated this ad nauseam to almost anyone who would listen, "Our children actually had the gall to grow up and leave us."  But I am happy to report that they are all doing well and so are Rick and I.

Two thoughts:  First, give yourself permission to grieve.  It's the end of an era.  Raising our family was a great time.  It was a lot of fun and a lot of work.  It's the end of an era.  It's okay to cry about it and you need to work through it.  Let the Lord help you.  I did better when I gave myself (and my husband) permission to grieve. "Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll -- are they not in your record?"   Psalm 56:8.  Second, move forward.  To quote some lyrics from the Alan Jackson song Remember When,

•             "Remember when we said when we turned gray

•             When children grow up and moved away

•             We won't be sad, we'll be glad

•             For all the love we've had

•             And we'll remember when."

My life is not over. There is a whole lot that God still wants to do in and through my life.  I have maturity, skills, talents, and gifts that I developed as I was raising my family, which God now is using.

From Thelma Clark (Parker, Colorado):

It's easy to think the "empty nest" stage is for the rest of our lives and that we need to come up with something kind of "permanent" that God would have us fill the time with.  However, once our children have their own families, it often coincides with our own parents or close relatives beginning to need help/care. These on top of our own husband/household/church can produce so many needs for us to help meet that it's almost more demanding than when all of our kids were under our roofs, because they're all different and in different places.  Whenever a woman reaches the "empty nest" stage, I would encourage her to visualize this stage possibly ahead for her.  And whatever she does--keep growing in the Lord and in faith, getting strengthened for the sprint coming.  

I think of what Elizabeth Elliot said: "God made us all to be mothers whether we ever have children or not."  The world needs mothering (care, love, training, serving, reaching)...and we rub shoulders with those who need our care everywhere.

From Karen Haring (Morgantown, West Virginia):                                                                   

So much of my life the past few years seems to be about "letting go." I find myself thinking often, "let go and let God."  I guess I have found that thought comforting and faith-building as I have seen two go off to college, and this fall sent my last two home-schoolers to public school. When I look at my life closely, there is so much that I want to be in control of.  It helps me to grow closer to God by knowing that I can fully trust Him and let go to let Him have His way-in my kids' lives, and in mine.

One other thing that has really helped me is to think back on the good things my parents did with me. They trusted me, let go of me, and prayed much for me. This encourages me when I realize these steps helped me, as their child, to grow in God. I want to do the same for my children, and allow them to make their own decisions and mistakes.

From Louise Martin (Columbus, Ohio):

Although not quite empty yet, my nest has cleared out to a great extent. Three of our four children live away from home, which leaves my sophomore son home alone with the "old folks."  Even though we've been steadily sending kids off for a few years now, I found this fall brought the biggest changes in my role as a mom. I find that I am more attentive to the needs of my remaining son than I have ever been. He won't admit it, but I think he is experiencing the "empty nest" more than I am.  His whole life he has had a brother to wrestle with or a sister who wanted to cuddle with him. In particular, this year he has lost his basketball/video game/baseball brother, and what he's been left with, at least until Dad gets home, is this gray-haired middle-aged lady!

What have I done to meet his needs? Well, I have picked up the ping-pong paddle after years of disuse. I plop on the couch when he's studying or watching TV and just do what I'm doing near him. Instead of assigning the chores and managing/inspecting as I've always done, I do chores alongside him.  I try to say "Yes" to going places he wants to go. All throughout my parenting I have remembered when Jacob returned from being with Laban. He didn't rush ahead with Esau, but traveled at the pace of his children. (Gen 33:14). This has helped me to be content when I could not do things that others were doing. Now I see I have to pick up the pace to keep up with the "bird" I have left.

From Jan Gordon (Gainesville, Florida):

We have really tried to be in fairly close contact with our kids as they have left the nest.  My husband has done Skype with our four boys once a week, though we need to re-establish this since new fall schedules.

Matt's family has been an amazing example of calling us often throughout our married lives, and it has been such a blessing knowing they are watching our back and, in a lot of ways, keeping us accountable (though they wouldn't have thought of it that way, I don't think).  We want to try to do the same. Matt is also planning a once a year get away with the boys to connect

In my talks with the older boys, I let them know that I will be asking what they are learning in their quiet times and I want to share mine.  One thing we have been encouraging is, that as many as can, to do the same quiet time plan.  We do this with the ones at home and, one day a week, we discuss what we are getting out of it. (We are taking notes, doing outlines, and writing challenge verses with practicals, etc).  At least one of our older boys has joined us. I would love to get us all on the plan. 

We pray daily for each young man out of the house. Our goal is to let them know we are on the same team accomplishing the same purpose, just in different locations. This has helped me "not miss" them quite as much.

From Barbara Wilson (Raleigh, North Carolina):

As far as empty nesting goes - I am feeling a bit guilty that I am enjoying it so much. Our youngest son, James, is the only one left at home.  He is a senior in high school, so he is busy with the church and school activities that he is involved in.  So, I am thoroughly enjoying the time I am able to give to Berk and the church.  Since none of our sons are playing high school football, I am able to attend weekend retreats now whereas I have not been able to for the past 5 years.  We had a beach retreat this past weekend that I attended. Berk is speaking in Daytona Beach at the Gator Christian Life retreat and I am able to go along.  I am also partnering with another sister in our church to work on getting a small women's ministry going.

All of our young men (used to be boys) are doing very well where they are and we keep in touch with them regularly via cell phone, so I don't feel like I am going through any type of mourning because they are not here.  I guess we always knew that they would grow up and leave home, so we're not thrown off by that. I also walk by bedrooms and enjoy that the beds are made just like they were the day before, and there are no dirty clothes on the floor.  (I have to make sure that neatness does not become an idol in my life, but I have lived with mild clutter for so long I like things being neat).

When you have lots of kids who are involved in lots of things, it certainly makes for a very hectic schedule.  So, I am enjoying a more relaxed time in our lives.

From Beth Sebek (Columbia, Maryland):

I was thinking of the stages of releasing the arrows that God has given us, or giving them wings to fly. We've seen kids go to school, marriages, moving out, new jobs, grandkids and some come back for round two; all come through our home.  An acrostic came to mind when thinking of this. The result of our labor of early years brings a HARVEST of change for new growth and fruit. Think of your own verses you would apply to these. 

H- Hug the memories- Ps. 143:5-6- I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. (Take the moments to remember and savor).

A- Adjust to the changing tides- Eph. 1:16- I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. (Allow change).

R- Release to new journeys- Ps. 118:24- This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (We can safely let go into our Father's hands). 

V- Value the moments- Philippians 2:13- For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Look for opportunities to empower).

E- Explore the possibilities- Eph. 4:7- But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. (See what new things God would have for you).

S- Step out on the water- Eph. 3:20- Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. (Obey what He shows you today).

T- Trust in God's unfailing love- Ps. 16:8- I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (My value comes in Christ alone, not what I do).

August 2009

 

Dear Sisters,

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."   Prov. 31:11

Sometimes I wonder, what is the best thing I can do for my husband so that he will have "no lack of gain." John then reminds me that his greatest desire for me will be the greatest blessing to him-that I would be a woman who has faith and puts her trust in God. My husband can then trust that I will encourage myself and others in the Lord, even in difficult circumstances. This month we have a wonderful testimony from Thelma Clark on how she strengthens her faith in the Lord during the hard times. Sisters, let's follow her advice and find our husbands enjoying the gain of encouraged wives!

Love,

Sandy Hopler

---

Faith

To my dear sisters "on the wall,"

If we could all sit and chat for awhile, each of us would have "such a story to tell" of all that's going on in and around our lives--each of us with the unique stresses and joys and responsibilities that the Lord has allowed for us.  As I look around at our church family right now, it's amazing how many have especially difficult circumstances to deal with.  My "mother's heart" kicks in with the desire to fix everything and help everyone, but most of the situations are too big to fix and I'm only one person with some of my own unusually stretching circumstances. So I do what I can and then take them in prayer to the throne of our Father, for I so want them to make it--to keep standing strong, not losing heart.

This has helped me understand Paul's heart for the believers, and Jesus' heart for Peter.  Jesus prayed that Peter's FAITH wouldn't fail.  (Luke 22: 32)  Paul couldn't stand it any longer, so he sent to find out about the Thessalonians' FAITH because he was afraid for them.  He sent Timothy to strengthen and encourage them in their FAITH so they wouldn't be unsettled by their trials.  He was encouraged when he was brought good news about their FAITH.  He prayed most earnestly that he could see them and supply what was lacking in their FAITH.  He said he "really lived" since they were standing firm in the Lord. (1Thes. 3:1-8)

When my kids were all at home and the to-do list was endless (does it ever change??), it helped me to put at the top of the list: "the children."  It was a visual reminder that loving and training them was the most important thing to which I needed to tend.  Recently I've begun to think that now I need to write down FAITH (mine and others') as the most important thing "to do" each day. We have a wonderful God with a mighty hand and outstretched arm to walk through each hour with us, and placing trust in Him each of those hours in every day is the ultimate. He is the One who "breaks open the way" (Micah 2:13 NIV), so you'd think that by now "trusting peacefully" would be my habit.  But worries and discouragements are still a natural default and it often takes time and effort to put my hope in God again. I keep getting to know more about Him every day in my quiet times, which helps me to walk in faith in my own circumstances. Then I am able to help others see His love and ability to help them persevere in their own situations.

Of course God's Word and promises are the main faith builders.  But there are two other things that jump start me in "believing" again once I've wavered.  Thanking God for the exact thing that just happened or was said or is upon us helps to immediately change my perspective.  And giving thanks is what involves God.  (Psalm 50 says it prepares the way for Him to show the salvation of God.)  In the book 31 Days of Praise, it says that praise "frees us from wasting energy speculating how things can be part of His plan and puts a stamp of approval on His unseen purposes....  Praise makes your circumstances and life a test tube (for others to see) that demonstrates the existence of a personal God who is present and involved and controls the natural universe.  It turns our attention to spiritual and eternal values and directs it away from the pleasure and success mentality which resists all pain and delay." 

The other prompter to faith for me has been singing.  David said in Psalm 63:7 "Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings."  When I'm stressed or discouraged, I certainly don't feel like singing, but there are a couple of "life songs" that have helped me over this hump time and time again.  God has used them to live out His promise to me in 2 Thes. 2:16,17: "May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father....encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word."  I keep these words in my daily journal and wanted you all to have them.  If you can learn the tunes, you'd be blessed even more.

Day by Day

Day by day, and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here.

Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, I've no cause for worry or for fear.

He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, gives unto each day what He deems best.

Lovingly, it's part of pain and pleasure, mingling toil with peace and rest.

 

Every day the Lord Himself is near me with a special mercy for each hour.

All my cares He feign would bear and cheer me, He whose name is Counselor and Power.

The protection of His child and treasure is a charge that on Himself He laid.

"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure," this the pledge to me He made.

 

Help me, then, in every tribulation, so to trust Thy promises, O Lord.

That I lose not faith's sweet consolation offered me within Thy Holy Word.

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting, 'er to take as from a Father's hand,

One by one, the days, the moments fleeting, till I reach the promised land.

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater;

He sendeth more strength where the labors increase;

To added afflictions He addeth His mercy;

To multiplied sorrows, His multiplied peace.

 

Chorus: 

His love has no limit; His grace has no measure;

His power has no boundary known unto men.

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus, He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

 

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed 'er the day is half done;

When we've reached the end of our hoarded resources,

Our Father's full giving has only begun.  (Chorus)

 

Two others:  "How Firm a Foundation" and Travis Cottrell's recent song "God Leads Us Along"-- (the chorus): "Leads.. some through the waters, some through the flood, some through the fire, but all through the blood. Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song in the night season and all the day long." 

Paul boasted of the Thessalonians' perseverance and FAITH in ALL the persecutions and trials they were enduring.  (2 Thes. 1:4)  Even though I don't know all of the things that each of you have endured, I do know that I could boast, too, of your perseverance and faith because you are on the front lines and you are still standing.  Might God strengthen us to stay strong in faith till the end, and meet Him singing "Great is Your Faithfulness, O God my Father."   

Thelma Clark

Parker, CO

May 2009 

Dear Sisters,

Have you ever given serious thought to how many people your life is influencing? This month's article urged me to also consider the direction and quality of my influence on others, and to seek more than ever to draw those I serve closer to Jesus Christ and His gospel.

"Granny" was a loving wife and mother who had an incredible impact on many, many people. She was a person of influence because of her devotion to the Lord and her faithfulness to obey God's word. Our writer points out that the "teaching of kindness was on her tongue." But what spoke the loudest to those she loved and served was her example.

I pray the Lord Jesus inspires us from Granny's life to find joy in imitating Him, who came not to be served, but to serve.

United with you for His glory,

Sandy Hopler

---

The Power of an Example by Thelma Clark

I wish you all could have known Granny (as everyone called her). Starting when I was 18, I was privileged on several occasions over a couple of years to stay for months at a time in Granny's home. Little did I realize then how much she was impacting my life, but her example in so many areas was what Titus 2 speaks of: "older women teach younger women," with the emphasis being teaching by example as much as by words.

Through the years since then, remembering her example and receiving occasional advice from her has often instructed or inspired me.

It always seemed that her attitudes, joy, and zeal were primarily from her strong personality and giftedness (and of course from the Lord). But at her memorial service last summer when I heard from her family the real reason for who she was, it left a lasting impression.

Let me describe those times in her home as I remember them.

What a busy place it was, housing Granny, her husband, and their two adult sons, her daughter and son-in-law with their seven young children, AND they were keeping the 8-10 of us "singles," as well as continually persuading numerous guests to come for meals or evenings of fellowship with homemade ice cream or goodies!

It didn't matter who walked in the door-Granny would warmly and enthusiastically greet them. She had a way about her that made everyone feel special and sincerely loved.

This enthusiasm for people didn't deter her hard work in managing the home and all that was going on in it either.

She was usually the first one up in the morning (reading her Bible before going to the kitchen), and often the last one to bed at night. Her home was her "tool" for loving people by providing good times of fellowship and great food. Meals were a real gathering time. Somehow everyone sat down (the adults mixed in with the little ones), and the relaxed after-dinner conversation usually centered on the Lord and His Word.

Even though Granny thrived on hearing and being a part of these discussions, she often never sat down, but kept bringing more food, making sure everyone was taken care of. She always assured us that she had gotten plenty to eat-but it was probably by eating what was left on the little ones' plates (seriously!).

Whether Granny was cleaning, doing laundry, instructing a child, or cooking (feeding 20-30 people daily!), she was cheerful and often singing (teaching anyone else in the kitchen her songs); and she knew how to graciously get everyone in the kitchen involved in helping.

She often placed toys in an out-of-the-way place in the kitchen so she could supervise the little ones' play and sing with them while she worked. Whatever conversation came up as we helped her, Granny seemed to find ways to make the most of the opportunity by applying God's Word to the topic.

It was a new experience for me to live with a family where the speech of all the adults was characterized by an extra measure of graciousness. This in itself made it such a warm and welcoming place to be.

Now I realize how much Granny's spirit enlarged her influence-because we loved being around her and it drew us to her; and then, because we felt loved, we were receptive to her unapologetically speaking the truth to us. I was being exposed more than I ever had before to a home focused on loving God and loving and influencing people for Him-all lived out in a very magnetic way.

Fast-forward nearly 40 years to Granny's memorial service.

It was inspiring to get a small glimpse of the fruit of her life. All of the "little" grandchildren, now grown (who should've hardly remembered us) greeted us with the warmth and enthusiasm that had been Granny's way, making us feel loved and special to them. We were joined by the rest of the grandchildren, most of whom had their own spouses and little ones now. It was exciting to see them loving God and reflecting the godly values we had seen lived out in Granny.

I was reminded of the verse: "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged." They were truly bringing honor and attention (as a crown would) to the life she had modeled, taught, and prayed for.

Many individuals in the audience stood and told of the times they'd been in Granny's home, of her influence on their lives, and of the many ways she had served them and been an example to them-each of these now representing numerous others that their individual lives had touched.

We heard of the impact this extended family (beginning with three children) has had on the whole community over the years as it's grown to 16 grandchildren and 27 great-grandchildren--that when this family is mentioned, people know of their testimony and hold them in high regard.

And they know of how Granny (nearly blind in her later years) had asked daily to be taken to a different grandchild's home so she could do their laundry-even when she had a broken arm!

At the service I was touched by the extent to which Granny's quiet life had so profoundly impacted and empowered others. I was encouraged and convicted that the gracious speech and warm spirit that had characterized Granny now imprinted the grown-up grandchildren. But hearing something I "didn't know" about Granny impacted me the most.

Her family told of how she was not necessarily a cheerful person-but that after she came to know the Lord, she read the Bible as God's Word to her as how she should live. When she read the verse: "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it," her response was, "I'm going to obey."

They also told of her life as a younger woman. We all knew she was a very gifted and spirited woman, but I had only seen it lived out as a devoted wife and mother in her home and community.

In the 1920's when many women didn't go to college, she did-and she was the only woman in the Amarillo Philharmonic Orchestra (a cellist), resulting in a radio contract that she eventually broke to get married. Years later, when as a married woman, she heard what the Word taught about God's plan for the roles in marriage, she wholeheartedly committed to this for her marriage and family.

The memorial program said of her: "The Lord gave His life for her and she wanted to give her life for Him. Faith seemed easy, and obedience was instant. She was unapologetic about whatever she felt the Lord wanted her to do; the vision that will forever be burned in the mind of her children and grandchildren is of their Granny, sitting beneath her window with the daybreak sun streaming in, reading her large print Bible with her magnifying glass. In the last 10 years she slowly read through her Bible seven times, able to see only two words at a time."

God used Granny to imprint me once again that day as I heard that it was her choices to obey the Word that made her who she was. Her daily time with Him gave her the strength she needed. It was little choices-but with far-reaching, life-changing effects!

With my heart newly challenged, I was encouraged when they shared that if Granny could speak to us from where she is now, she would tell us, "It is worth it all! Don't grow weary--you will reap a harvest. Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

Granny knows this now, and I'm forever grateful that God allowed Millie McCotter's life to touch (and repeatedly touch) mine.

Thelma Clark
Parker, CO

If you want to respond to Thelma, contact our office at info@gccweb.org to get her email address.

April 2009

 

Dear Sisters,

This may not be true yet in your part of the country, but I'm seeing some fresh green and pink buds on trees lining the streets of our neighborhood. It's raining, and my lawn is also greening. How refreshing the warmer rain has been after harsh winter snows.

Being around someone with a thankful, praising spirit is like a spring shower to the dry weary heart. Our writer, Rita Bergen, takes some time this month to give a blessing of thanks to all of our godly women who are quietly, faithfully serving their pastor husbands, their families, churches, and the Lord. You women are having an impact for the gospel! I pray that her thanks and praise to God for all of you will be refreshment to your spirit.

We can all say "Amen" to Rita's comments. I know that so much of what God has built into my life in my role as wife, friend, and mother, is from the Christ-filled examples of you women. We Great Commission wives have an awesome sisterhood in Christ!

God's grace to you,

Sandy Hopler

---

What I Have Learned From You by Rita Bergen

Where would I be today without the godly examples of so many of you? I've thanked some of you individually, but I want to take this opportunity to say a big corporate thank you to one and all! Lots of women all over the country have had an impact in my life. A little here, a little there. Yet it all adds up to a HUGE impression for me. Christ's body is at work, each member doing its small part, but together so big. Over the years I've been able to watch Christ in lots of your lives in the various places I've lived. Plus, I've had good times at conferences, hearing the wisdom and faith of so many of you. Even when I didn't know you personally, your life was a model to me. I've been influenced--for the better! Sometimes you probably didn't even know that your words or example made an imprint on me, but they did. You made a difference in my life, because Christ is in you. And that's what He does.

Your simple life, lived in a godly way, really is making a difference. Christ is in you. You are in Christ. Because of being in the Vine, you are bearing fruit. You are impacting the world (whether you've tasted the results yet or not). Christ is using you to speak His love and truth into the people around you.

I think as wives and servants of the church, we sometimes wonder if our part is making any difference. That's how I've felt at times. I long for people to know God. I hope that I can be used to influence them. The blessings in Christ are so real and so wonderful. "Please God, help me to pass along the blessing."

Then I reach out with my faith and share my experiences with others. I try, and give it my best shot, but sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever really been helped. After all, I'm a "nobody." Why should my life have helped anyone? My role seems so small. I live a lot of my life "behind the scenes."

Yet occasionally someone will come up and say, "You know that verse you shared with me in 1996 (or '83, or some other time in ancient history)? It helped me so much!" And then I feel amazed. Because sometimes I can't even remember the ancient conversation! And the thoughts I'd shared at the time were just in passing--just speaking my faith into the need of the moment. A little here, and a little there, but voila - people were helped. Amazing! Jesus in me, blessing someone else. Wow!

Christ's Spirit in you IS blessing the people around you. Be encouraged. You are changing the world - a little here, a little there. And as part of Christ's universal body, it all adds up to one huge impact. Thanks for influencing me. I love you gals!

Here are a few of the nuggets you've taught me over the years. Even though there's not room to list all of the dozens and dozens of names, I have each of you in mind! Some examples of the things you said or did that affected me were:

• Jesus is glorious, and through Him God has given us every spiritual blessing.
• Be a woman of the Word. It is my instruction book and my promise book.
• Cling to promises. Have a promise for everything I face in life.
• Sometimes it's hard to keep hanging on to promises. Persevering in this is the "good fight of faith."
• Grief does not equal unbelief. We can go to God in our tears, full of faith in His goodness and wisdom.
• Praying scripture can keep my prayers from turning into "holy" gossip sessions.
• God is always near, even in the tunnels of life.
• Loyal friendship is possible even when separated by distance and years.
• One way that I can share in the gospel is by being a servant of the church.
• My home can be a base of operations for the gospel.
• Being a homemaker is a noble calling.
• If I need to "stay at home with the baggage," I will still share in the victory.
• I can put a crown on my husband's head through my respectful, submissive, loving attitude.
• I don't need to be my husband's personal Holy Spirit (i.e. trying to change him). Instead, I can be his cheerleader!
• Remember that my husband has other men in his life who can teach him. I don't need to become his mentor.

When there is a misunderstanding, look for the meaning behind the words my husband chooses to use. Often people have different connotations for words. We may be using the same words, but meaning different things. Don't correct his word choice, but try to understand his meaning for each word.

Children are a blessing from the Lord. Enjoy them!

When all my preschool children seem to need "Mommy" all at once, don't get overloaded trying to solve all their problems simultaneously. It doesn't work! They can take turns. Address each issue in turn.

In many ways, a woman sets the tone of her home. My gloominess or cheerfulness will color the mood of the home.

Godly women have a variety of personalities. My personality has a place.

Laughter is good! Joy and laughter are ways of expressing love. I can help my family and friends enjoy having a good time together.

We are like pioneer women. At times we endure difficulties when getting the gospel out, but we have hope that our sacrifice will be worth it in the end. We trust that our ventures (and adventures!) will result in people spending eternity with the Lord.

That is well worth the effort!

Encouragement often comes simply through a friend lending a sympathetic ear.

Sometimes the way we help friends is by expressing confidence in them.

Hope in God. Our help is from Him and so is our future. "She smiles at the future."

I learned these things from you. Thanks again!

All because of Jesus,

Rita Bergen
Lee's Summit, MO

If you want to respond to Rita, contact our office at info@gccweb.org to get her email address.

March 2009

 

Dear Sisters,

This school year is almost over for my kids, yet school is never out for those who want to be useful
to Jesus Christ. Neva Whitney has some lessons for wives who have been, or will be, planting new churches with their pastor husbands.

I remember in the late 1980's when the Whitneys were planning to move from Washington, D.C. to help a new church in beautiful Colorado. Rick's heart was "into it" and so then was Neva's. And there they were fruitful-but the Lord had more for them to do once they were grandparents!

The lesson I want to learn from Neva is that of courage. She urges us to courageously serve God in faith-and "astonish" God. Let's follow her example and then find ourselves astonished at God, as we experience His goodness and faithfulness.

In His service,
Sandy Hopler

 

---

 

Lessons from a Church Planter's Wife

By Neva Whitney (Vintage Faith Church, Manhattan, KS)

"May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us - yes, establish the work of our hands." - Psalm 90:16-17

I didn't realize it at the time, but I married a church planter almost 36 years ago. Not that it mattered. I would probably have married him anyway - my skinny cowboy with his newfound heart for God.

And being a new Christian myself, I did not have a hint of what God had in store for us and the path our lives would take.

Rick and I became Christians while students at Iowa State University during the early '70s. After we graduated we moved to Rick's hometown and worked for a couple of years before moving back and rejoining the Ames church in Iowa.

Shortly after Rick was recognized as a pastor, he teamed up with another young pastor and along with a great, little team - we moved to Gainesville, Florida! Being uprooted from the Midwest and moving so far away should have been my first hint that I might have married someone who loves to start new churches and try new things for God.

After we had been in Gainesville for about five years, Rick was asked, along with some other men, to move to the Washington D.C. area and help organize Great Commission Churches nationally. So we packed up and moved our ever-growing family to Maryland.

While living there for another five years, my husband volunteered for almost every opportunity he could get, to get out of town, and to work with new churches (mostly in the southeastern part of the country). So he traveled a whole lot.

Again, after about five years, Rick decided to help pastor a young church in the Denver area. The church had a few deacons serving there and they were friends of my husband. They strongly implored us to move to Colorado. It really didn't take much asking on their part.

So we packed up our ever-growing family once again, and moved halfway across the country.

This move was different from the others. This was the first time that we bought a house, settled into a neighborhood, and a community for a long time and raised our seven children there--but we kept planting churches.

While living in Colorado we didn't stay with one church for any great length of time. Maybe we should have. Looking back, it's sometimes hard to sort out what we should have done. Maybe we should have stayed with one church a little longer. Many dear men (and their wives) have been pastoring the four Denver churches, been extremely faithful, and have done a tremendous job.

But it seemed like we often tended to move on after a few years to help get another
church going. And I hasten to say, that we never did any of this alone. We were always alongside a wonderful team of sacrificial servants and hard workers.

One nice thing while we were in Colorado was that we didn't move our family each time we got involved in starting a new church. Instead we just committed to drive our van full of kids a lot. Sometimes almost an hour one-way, but we loaded up and traveled in that minivan and had a ball. And our kids were with us every step of the way, learning about God, learning about life, learning about themselves, and learning about planting churches.

After 20 years in Colorado my husband surprised me when he again got the "itch" to do something new for God. We asked our now grown kids, "What should your mom and dad do?"

And they told us! "Go big or go home!" "Get out of the boat!" "Keep it real!" "Do
something for God!"

They recognized that we weren't young pups, but their counsel was, to quote Tennyson, "Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

We sold our home and moved to Manhattan, Kansas, home of K-State.

We have been here for almost nine months and Kansas is starting to feel like home - though when I was flying recently from Texas, after helping with a new grandbaby of a daughter who is planting a church in El Paso, at the airport I kept looking for a gate with the destination Denver and not Kansas.

Being a church planter's wife has taught me much over the years. And I trust that some of these lessons encourage you, dear sister, no matter what your husband's gifting and whether you have done a new church plant or not.

The first lesson is that church planting is not really that big of a deal. Whether we move or not, I do not think that's the biggest pressure on us, ladies. The biggest pressure is faithful service and fulfilling our call in life to be daily followers.

Another lesson that crosses all of lives is that life is never routine on a church plant. It is good to view each day as an adventure. You don't know exactly what God (or your husband) has in store for you. You learn again how hard work is and how hard life is, and just how hard daily life can seem at times, but that's okay. God called us to labor, to work, to pour out our lives, and He will
give us all the grace we need.

We have got to believe this and we show our belief if we are experiencing that strength,
that grace. Grace for even the routine or mundane things.

I am often reminded afresh how important it is for a wife to support her husband and come alongside him in all his adventures, ideas, and schemes. To be excited about what he is excited about. To be his main cheerleader and counselor, not his critic or complainer.

I have learned you should never get too comfortable in your church. Don't rely on others to be out sharing the gospel and inviting people to church activities. Keep these kinds of things high on your priority list and a vital part of your weekly activity.

I have learned to not get strapped down by our possessions. We need "things" to function and be effective in outreach, (a frying pan, for instance) but each time I saw how much "stuff" I had accumulated and needed to part with, to make the moves halfway successful. He has weaned me of things.

I've learned that I am not above anything. When moving here - no one knew me. On campus or around town. Many times I have found myself in rather awkward or uncomfortable situations - whether it's passing out tracts on campus during a break in class or moving into a tiny
old apartment while waiting for our house to sell or traipsing around town in the rain under the cover of a big umbrella handing out flyers for a picnic that evening - and thinking to myself, "I'm above this. I don't need to do this. Do these people know who I am? I'm a national leader's wife. I'm
Mrs. Regional Director. I am the First Lady of this crazy church."

But then God gently whispered to me. "Vanity, my little girl. You are nothing of the kind. You are simply My servant. Follow Me. Trust and obey. Let go of your pride, My daughter."

God in His steady, consistent way has repeatedly said to me, "No, Neva, you are not above doing any job I might ask for you. You are not doing this for anyone else, but for Me. And serving
Me girl, isn't that enough?"

I have learned to answer Him, "Yes."

I like the quote by Margaret Atwood that Rick shared with my daughters and myself one time awhile back. "There are some women who seem to be born without fear. God appears to protect such women, maybe out of astonishment." I have learned, over and over again, that life demands courage. And He has given me courage.

I don't seem to feel any more outward confidence, even as many years go by, but I do experience and know His courage more and more.

Courage has been His faithful gift to me.

- May we, as Great Commission women, continue to always be fearless women.

- May we again and again astonish our God (and our husbands) as we step out in faith and ask God to step in and protect us.

- May we daily come alongside our men and help reach this world for our Lord and Savior Jesus.

If you want to respond to Neva, contact our office at info@gccweb.org to get her email address.

February 2009

 

Dear Sisters,

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).

Our writer this month, Terry Putthoff, likens herself in her faithful following of her husband Dave, to Jonathan's armor-bearer. As Jonathan had the inspiration and faith to attack the enemy against overwhelming odds, his lil' old armor-bearer had to agree to go along, believing his shaking limbs would be able to charge up that hill. So too, Terry made a decision by faith to allow Dave to "do all that was in his heart" knowing she and the kids were right behind! Not only has the result (through many trials) been the gospel's spread, but Terry and her children have also been blessed by seeing answered prayers and desires fulfilled. Not to say it hasn't been a "wild horse ride" at times!

I pray we all can imitate her example, and then see the Lord show Himself to us as strong and able to provide--for us and our whole family!

Blessings,

Sandy Hopler

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The Big "Perhaps" perhaps: adverb, used to express uncertainty or possibility

By Terry Putthoff (Lee's Summit Community Church, Lee's Summit, MO)

Several years ago, Dave and I were reading a book together entitled, Hope Rising by Kim Meeder. It is a testimonial book of how wounded horses have helped wounded people experience God's love and forgiveness in a very unique way. I believe we were prompted to read this book as God had prepared our hearts through the prayers of our daughters. Many nights their prayers would consist of: "Dear Lord, I want to be a missionary for You, and could we have horses too?" Understanding the innocence of their prayers, I would wink at God, as if to remind Him that they were just children. Their desire to be missionaries at such a young age made me proud. But the "horse thing?" It was only a wishful dream.

I reflected on some of my childhood dreams - to be a mommy, a missionary in India, and also own a ranch with horses. How far fetched is that? As a single, I did go to India on a mission trip and 10 years later I met Dave. Interestingly, going to India was far easier than fulfilling the dream of becoming a mommy. We struggled with infertility for many years, but the Lord was gracious to us and granted us three delightful children.

One night after the usual prayers, I thought it was about time that I soften the blow for my girls by informing them that we would probably never have horses and we would never live on land that would support them. I didn't want them to be disappointed with God. After all, we live as a one-income family and that income was that of a pastor. Looking back, I shudder to think now how small I made God seem in trying to save His reputation--as if He needed it. I directed them to give thanks to God for our good friend, Carolyn. She had horses that we could ride practically anytime we wanted. I thought that's how God was fulfilling their prayers.

God continually steered people into our lives that had something to do with horses. Not only did he bring Carolyn into our lives, but he also prompted other friends. They raised Paint Horses and were downsizing their herd. Out of the blue, they called me to say that they had a mare that we should consider buying. She was with foal at the time. In February of 2004 we bought our first riding horse and in March "imprinted" our first filly upon birth. Dave's folks had some acreage at their place and let us bring our horses there. Just for the record, Dave and I were not what you would call "horsey people" at that time. Dave rode horses in his younger years and I had a Shetland pinto growing up. So what were we doing?

Again, we heard the broadcast of Kim Meeder on Focus on the Family. Our hearts were captured by the testimonies of God's unique way of using these incredible animals to touch hearts. Something inside kept pressing us to check out this ministry. So, we booked our flights to Bend, Oregon, taking along with us our oldest daughter, our trail riding friend, and Dave's parents. Little did we know that it would only be the beginning of some incredible experiences.

Dave's sister and her family became very interested in this potential ministry. They had just purchased 40 acres and would consider using it for the ministry. There was another 10 acre track adjacent to theirs that had a house on it. That spring, we put an offer on that acreage and house before we had even put our house on the market.

I wish I could say that the excitement was growing in me, but that would be far from the truth. It was fear. Our house sold in a weekend and the loan went through miraculously for the land and the house. It was all moving too fast for me. Had we pre-empted God? Was He really calling us out of our comfort zone? It felt as though I had saddled my horse and barely got one foot in the stirrup, and it took off--not at a walk, but at a full run...blazing a new trail.

Dave shared an awesome passage with me that has continued to give me faith and courage in this endeavor. You all know the story in I Samuel 14 about Jonathan and his armor-bearer. The situation is desperate. A bloody battle is imminent. Only Saul and Jonathan out of the whole company of soldiers have swords with which to fight. Jonathan slips away with his armor-bearer. He says to him, "Come and let us cross over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; PERHAPS, the Lord will work for us, for the Lord is not restrained to save by many or by few." Now I don't know about you, but if Jonathan said that to me, I would be saying, "PERHAPS? Are you crazy? You want to risk our lives on 'PERHAPS'? I want you to KNOW that you know that God is in this." (That was my thought about buying this land and house.) I wonder if the armor-bearer had a "check" in his spirit? As I pondered this passage, the Lord spoke to my spirit, "Is My arm too short that it cannot save? Am I restrained by many or few?"

"No, Lord. You are more than able." And so as the armor-bearer said to Jonathan, my response to my God under the direction of my husband had to be, "Do all that is in your heart; turn yourself and here I am with you according to your desire." Amazingly, in one acre of land THEY slew the enemy; even the armor-bearer slew a few.

Several years ago, we started this journey. What we thought this ministry would look like has taken on different appearances. We thought we would be working with emotionally handicapped children under the name of HorsePower. But then Dave started sharing a deeper desire of his to reach out to men in the rural setting. We saw God bring together a team of people with similar passions and talents that wanted to "saddle up" with us. Two years ago "Open Range" began as a monthly outreach. And now since November 2008 it has turned into a weekly "cowboy church" and many are coming to know the Lord.

Although I still don't know exactly where this trail will lead us, I am comforted that I am in good company with other ordinary people of faith. "By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance, and he went out, not knowing where he was going" (Hebrews 11:8).

In closing, the very thing I told my daughters that we would never have, such as horses and land, we have. We have seven horses and one rescued donkey named Elvis who has ministered to many children. God truly is the Dream-Giver and the Dream-Fulfiller. I am humbled, but find it necessary to proclaim that we serve a much bigger God than we realize. And if we will continually release our fears of failure or disbelief, He will do miraculous wonders. I can picture in my mind, God smiling at me and winking back. "Is anything too difficult for Me? I, Myself, will accomplish all that concerns you" (Jeremiah 32:27; Psalm 138:8).