Great Commission Churches

September 2004

"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord...
...He Himself being the Savior of the body...
...as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything" Ephesians 5:22.

Dear Sisters,

Isn't it interesting to note how older translations of the Bible express a man being intimate with his wife? "Now Adam knew his wife Eve...(Gen. 4:1, KJV). Being united in marriage gives us the opportunity to thoroughly "know" our husbands, with their own unique needs and personalities. I have the special place in John's life to understand what brings him the rest and peace necessary for him to enjoy life and experience God.

Get encouragement this month from Wendy Walker's inspiration on how to bring refreshment to your pastor husband.

Serving with you,
Sandy

Refreshing Your Husband

by Wendy Walker, Chestnut Ridge Community Church, Morgantown, West Virginia

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul" Psalm 23:1-3.

When I have read these verses, I imagine David, whose life was full of triumphs and tragedies, literally lying down peacefully in the grass, or walking by a flowing stream. As he talks to God and enjoys the beauty of His creation, his soul feels more at peace, though his stress-producing problems remain.

As I thought about this, it reminded me of my husband and those who are in full-time ministry. I wondered about how I could help and encourage him so he feels energized and refreshed to tackle the next day. There are three practical ways that have helped my husband to be more relaxed and refreshed. I think these are often pushed aside because life is too complicated or busy.

In the last year, we traveled to places like New York City, Chicago, and New Mexico. When he thought about what he liked and didn't like about the cities and desert, it came down to the fact that he enjoyed God's creation more than what man created. It refreshed him more by being outdoors and taking in the God's beauty than to be indoors all the time.

The one aspect that had been missing in his life was making his down time or relax time just that...relaxing and refreshing. We have two decks attached to our house, but we had not taken advantage of sitting and watching the sunset, spending time with God there, reading a good book, or enjoying a cup of coffee--and each other's company. Imagine that! When he realized that we could if we made it more of a priority, he washed and stained it while I set some flowers, plants, and tiki torches on it for "atmosphere." He enjoys his relax time now and comes away more refreshed than if he didn't take the time to do so.

Another way that ministers to my husband is good food. Food is one of the things that scores big with Bill. But his favorite foods change constantly (except for pizza!). What he might like today, he may not like tomorrow. There is a logical reason why "change" is a regular part of his life. God made him creative and artistic. Variety is the spice of life (though there are specific things I try to always have in the refrigerator and pantry because he looks for them). And I've learned that presentation can make or break a meal.

Lastly, creating surroundings that stimulate and satisfy the senses can be soothing to the spirit. Our bedroom needed a major paint job so I chose a paint color he liked that was between masculine and feminine. A gift certificate given to us helped us buy a comforter and sheet set. And adding inexpensive curtains, blinds, and candles gave our bedroom a fresh, romantic, and soothing atmosphere.

This might not sound very "spiritual" in ministering to someone, but it is, if it is one of their love languages. Finding out exactly what ministers to my husband wasn't easy and I'm still learning about what shows love to him and what doesn't. I want our home to be a peaceful, Christ-centered place that he enjoys coming home to, a place of refuge, so that he can feel refreshed and energized to meet the next day. Of course, time alone with God and prayer are the foremost ways of being refreshed, but you already know that.

So my question is, what refreshes your husband?