Great Commission Churches

October 2006

Dear Sisters,

A major role most of us play is the role of a mother. But guess what? Kids grow up and move from home! How are we to respond when the children leave the nest?

Neva Whitney and her husband Rick have raised and released their children. Now in her new empty-nest phase of life, Neva shares with us how she is continuing to seek the Lord's will and do what He wants, through continuing to be her husband's support and help. May we get hope and encouragement through her example of living for others!

In Christ's service,

Sandy

Empty Nesters

By Neva Whitney, Neva Whitney, Great Commission Northwest, Colorado

For the first time in 30 years, Rick and I do not have any of our kids living at home. They were everywhere and all around us, but slowly things kept quieting down. And now they have all graduated and moved on. Although it is not easy and it has been a big adjustment - probably bigger than we thought it would be - I think I am figuring it out. I have a tendency to go from one stage of life to the next kicking and screaming and crying. But by God's grace, I just keep turning to Him, and trusting, and the Lord has helped.

God truly wants us to embrace every step of the journey and I'm doing just that. I am eager to see what God has for me in this new stage with some new and different opportunities for ministry.

Drawing closer to my Savior has certainly been a highlight. The first couple of months I just fed on the Psalms, day after day, week after week. I gained strength and comfort from reading those familiar words. Often I would tear up and He would always bless me. If you ever need a little direct encouragement from your God, I encourage you to go to the Psalms, and expect God to help you let go and relax. And He will.

I have enjoyed more uninterrupted time with my husband also. It is just him and I now, and that is taking our relationship to an even better level. We really are connecting (and I thought we were pretty close before). I'm grateful that through our child-rearing years we kept our relationship a priority. We made time for one another when the kids were around. We always liked one another and enjoyed being together, and over the last few months, praise God, it has gotten better!

Also, I have had a renewed appreciation for being "a worker at home." Those verses from Titus still relate, even today. For decades I have had children to help with household chores and prepare meals. This fall if I want a chore done around here, I can't call out a name and have someone do it, or even help me to do it. I have rolled up my sleeves a little more. It's exciting to see God use me in a variety of new ways outside of the home too.

We're working with a new church in downtown Denver called The Firehouse. It's mostly made up of young people---recent graduates, first jobs, young marriages, and little kids. Lots of working singles and even a few students. Recently, right after a Sunday service was over, I had the privilege of leading one of our new visitors in her prayer to receive Christ as her personal Savior. What a thrill! I am praying that she will grow and become a devoted disciple.

God has also given Rick and me several opportunities to labor together in counseling situations with couples in our church and in our neighborhood. We are always so humbled to be used by God with other folks who are hurting, angry, confused, and yet still searching for truth.

Before kids, I worked as a journalist. And then the kids came. But with them now gone, we decided that it might be good for me to do a little part time work outside of the home and see if I could hang with some other middle aged women, maybe be used by God in a new way. After talking to several pastors wives, I decided to work with Weight Watchers. God used it as a blessing year's ago, and I wondered if I could be a blessing to others now.

The first part of this year I worked as a receptionist at three weekly meetings. About 12 hours a week. Not a big commitment, but I was able to rub shoulders with lots of ladies. It involved meeting and greeting the members, signing up new members, and a little selling. Just last month I went through an intense four days of group leader training which involved instruction in leading small groups, public speaking, and counseling. That was right up my alley. (For all you pastor's wives, could I just say that it really was nothing new, but very encouraging.)

I'm currently finishing my mentoring to become a new group leader. I've been privileged to take advantage of the training that this company provided and I can see many ways where it will benefit me as a pastor's wife. I am praying that God will continue to use me to be 'salt and light' with all these ladies. I have already had opportunities to minister to a number of them.

One recently lost a sister. Another is taking care of an unloving mother. One opened up about her child who had just left for college. There are lots of marriage and child rearing questions that have come up too. As a Christian, the Lord has helped me to show care and concern. He's allowed me to minister to these women and speak truth to them, and I am very grateful. It has also been very gratifying to see how proud and supportive my husband has been as I have stepped out in this new adventure.

So, although I am a newbie, empty nester, I am excited! God has helped me to be full of faith. He continues to have a plan for me and my husband. (Rick would also appreciate prayer to help and guide him through these changes too!) The Lord has safely brought us this far. He is not done with us. He still has an abundant life planned for both of us - 'sans children.' He still wants to use us - if we still want to be used.