Teaching the Younger Women to be Subject to Their Husbands

January 31, 2011 - 10:10 AM

January 2011

"Older women, likewise are to be...teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women (to be) subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be dishonored" (Titus 2:3-5).

Dear Sisters,

The focus of this month's letter is submission to our husbands, and it reminded me that my relationship with John is a reflection of my walk with Jesus Christ. Am I ungrateful and grumbling to him about circumstances in my life? Then I am not believing and honoring God's word that says, "God causes all things to work together for good..." (Romans 8:28). Am I striving against my husband's leadership and decisions? Good chance I don't trust God is loving and leading me, because His word promises, "...just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right..." (1Peter 3:6).

Yet as Cindy Sokoll points out, Sarah (or Sarai) was not always so believing and submissive! God's plan was for Sarah to trust Him by submitting to her husband, but she came up with a plan of her own to accomplish God's will. And just as Eve "taught" Adam, which resulted in disaster and death, Sarah involved her husband in going outside of God's plan. May we be women who trust God from the heart by obeying His leading in our lives through our husbands.

Love,

Sandy Hopler

Teaching the Younger Women to be Subject to Their Husbands

by Cindy Sokoll (Summitview Community Church, Loveland, Colorado)

My name is Cindy Sokoll. I am honored to be serving alongside each one of you, your husbands and your families. It's not an easy life we walk and one that cannot be defined as "perfection." It is a life of adorning ourselves with God's grace, and bringing God glory through everything we face. I am humbled to share a story about how "my God" came alive!

I was driving alone in my car. This often-traveled highway was a long stretch of solitude that I was in the habit of using for encouragement, prayer and worship. I found myself reflecting on a difficult marriage situation in another church that had been brought to my husband, Pat's, attention. Tragically, the situation involved adultery in a marriage. As I was driving and praying for wisdom for my husband and the other pastors, I found myself once again a bit annoyed by unfaithfulness in marriage. My mind followed a well-worn trail, back to the story of Sarai and Hagar.

Now Sarai, Abram's wife had borne him no children, and she had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, "Now behold, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I will obtain children through her." And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram's wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight. And Sarai said to Abram, "May the wrong done me be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, but when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her sight. May the LORD judge between you and me" (Genesis 16:1-5).

My often-repeated question to God on this topic was, "Why Lord? How could it be 'OK' to give her husband to another?"

As my "whys" floated heavenward, His words penetrated my thoughts. It seemed God spoke His thoughts very clearly to me. "Because she didn't trust Me."

A bit startled, I began to reflect on that profound truth. Were Sarai's actions nothing more than a lack of faith? She had the promise of God. Yet somehow, it seemed good to Sarai to take matters into her own hands. Until that moment, I had always looked at Sarai's circumstances and not her heart. It "seemed" sacrificial--it seemed like maybe God could use her variation of His plan. Sarai even convinced her husband to go along with the plan. Culturally, it was no big deal. Within her culture, men did take other wives and have children with them. But did Sarai believe God's promise to make Abram into Abraham-the father of multitudes; that His promise of a son born to Abram and Sarai would be fulfilled? No, she wrongly believed she had to come up with a plan to "help God"-but at such a cost! "WOW!" I said aloud and started to weep.

I was weeping because I had to ask myself, "How many times had I done this?" I considered what circumstances I might unwittingly bring to my life and family if I chose to seek my own way. Moments of my life where I had chosen not to trust God flowed before me. How many times was I unwilling to let God work His plan through Pat? I knew what submission was. I knew all the verses. In fact, I am often held up as an example of joyfully submitting. The scenes in my mind were all the more powerful because only God had known my heart during those times of cleverly disguised distrust. Times of fear, emotionalism, drama, exaggerations or strength of "conviction and opinion" were simply ways of manipulating toward my desired outcome. The verse that kept playing through my head was Proverbs 14:1, Solomon's words: "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands."

During all of those fearful examples, I could have easily justified my actions as godly. Others would have seen nothing wrong. My actions were "acceptable." My faith, however, was AWOL. I had been practicing "godly" manipulation.

As I thought of that phrase that spoke to my heart, "Because she didn't trust Me," my response was to repent. The remainder of that drive was spent in sweet fellowship with my Savior. I then urged Pat to please follow God with his whole heart into His good, pleasing and perfect will. It is not enough that my husband, or anyone else, thinks I am submissive. I want my hidden heart to display faith in a good God who is leading me to good things.

In closing, I want to urge us women to check our hearts, and to believe that what God desires for us wives is the same as He wants for anyone else-a heart of trust and obedience to Him. And then, dear sisters, as we trust God by faith through a heart of obedience to our husbands, we will see the goal of Titus 2:3-5 fulfilled: "...that the word of God will not be dishonored." And God will get all the glory!

If you would like to respond to Cindy, please email info@gccweb.org.