Our question this month focuses on the wife's role of "helper" to her husband, and how God's Word is her support in that role.
"Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him'" (Genesis 2:18).
My husband has often pointed out to me that the best test of whether your service and efforts are helping someone is if that person desires that help, and feels helped. It has taken time and humbling for me as a wife and mother to believe this truth! It reminds me of a Family Circus cartoon in which the kids tell Dad, while pulling on their sweaters, "Mommy's cold." We can often take our own needs and project them on others. Am I truly a student of my husband's needs and desires? Or am I pursuing my own agenda?
One wife responded to our question this month with this comment: "I knew his desires and goals for our family and put forth my time and best efforts to help make them reality." The wives in our churches have been this kind of godly example to me through the years, and I am so very thankful for you all!
What verse has helped you the most in your being a helper to your husband--and why?
As I pondered this verse, I realized that one phrase has helped me most in being a helper to my husband: "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22).
Whether it's embracing God's purpose of being a helper and companion to my husband, and bringing Him good every day of my life-or whether it's following His commands to wives-the bottom line is my heart toward God and being pleasing and yielded to Him. It's all about my relationship to God, and He will be the one to reward me accordingly.
This truth has carried me, and continues to carry me, through the difficult times. Hard discussions are resolved when I realize that even if I might be right, my anger and frustration are wrong before the Lord. Just acknowledging that to God as I strive to please Him makes all the difference. It is like the story of Pilate's wife who heard in a vision that Jesus was a righteous man who shouldn't be killed. She was "right", but knowing that God's redemptive plan was accomplished through the "wrong" decision of her husband reminds me that I'm only responsible for what He asks of me, submitting "as to the Lord." I can leave to my husband his responsibility before the Lord to be the head. --Thelma Clark
I've been learning recently the value of being more sensitive and attentive to God's voice in my life every day.
The verses in Proverbs 3:5-6 have taken on a new significance-"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (NASB). This applies especially to those moments when I sense His gentle nudges to lead me through my husband's requests or suggestions.
In these "nudge" moments, I can choose to trust God and recognize His appointed authority in the person of my husband, Mark. Instead of letting my excuses manipulate him or allowing my fears or stubbornness get in the way, I can fit in with Mark's plans and promptings. That way I'll hopefully be opening up, through faith, more opportunities for God to bless and enrich our marriage in His wonderful ways, big or small. I'll have more chances to express my gratitude for the Lord's divine direction in my life by saying once again, "Thank you Lord for leading me." --Kathy Darling
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18, NIV).
I've often been asked through the years, "What do you do?" Though my response has usually been, "I'm a homemaker," or "I home-school my kids," I wonder if I shouldn't rather have answered, "I'm my husband's helper," for that is truly my highest calling as a wife.
Helping your man is played out in so many ways, fitting uniquely to each individual marriage relationship. For me, helping Dave has meant buying groceries and faithfully serving healthy meals day after day for 36 years. Each time I put clean socks in his drawer, iron a shirt, pack a lunch, run an errand, or varnish a window, I am thankful that I can serve him and free him up to be about other things.
Caring for our kids over the years has been all about helping my man. I knew his desires and goals for our family, and put forth my time and best efforts to help make them a reality. From potty training to schooling, arranging swim lessons, piano lessons, and Tae Kwon Do...I've been his right hand assistant in raising our kids.
Caring for our home, offering hospitality to guests, and most of all welcoming my hubby home each day are great ways that refresh and encourage Dave and say, "I'm so glad I can lovingly come alongside and help you."
What I do may not seem all that important to outsiders looking at my life, but I know that I hold a privileged position as helper to my husband. And I know that God is pleased that I take Him seriously with His high calling for my life. --Dawn Bovenmyer